A new baby inevitably shifts the balance of your relationship. For some this is a positive shift, but for many others it can bring up a range of challenging issues. A baby changes everything as they say. If a couple has a strong marriage before having children, chances are it will remain as such, if not strengthen due to the bond between the husband and wife who must now parent together. If a couple’s relationship was weak, either they will grow more distant after a baby is thrown into the mix, or once again, the bond of being parents will bring them closer together.
In fact, contrary to the popular belief that having a baby brings couples closer, studies on marriage often show that having children leads to a decrease in marital satisfaction and happiness. One of the negative ways a baby affects marriage is the amount of time and energy she requires from her parents. A parent who cares for this demanding human day and night may have little left to offer his or her spouse. The lack of intimacy that can result and cause resentment on one or both sides can be crippling.
For starters, couples have about one-third the time together as they did before the birth of their child, and they have added financial responsibilities. One thing that will change is your conversations. You will find that you are talking less about current events and more about future events This is certainly not to say that having a child means your marriage is doomed. What it means is you should take the time to care for and nurture your marriage, whether you’re a parent already or soon plan to be.