I never thought this is how things will turn out, for i always thought that you’d be stronger.
oh how could you do it, i never saw it coming, why couldnt you just explain ?
I wishh i did and i wish i had the chance to say a proper goodbye, to give you one last hug and kiss, to see you smile one more time, to forgive you forr all the things in the past; to let you know i love you (:
but i guess i cant because you leftt soo soon, baby i mis youu :(ju
How could you do this , for you always find an escape, your just running away, from the people who love and care for you most, cant you see how much your hurting us.
for atleast you could have gave me a single text, to tell me you were ok, i waited for you those few nights you were gone, i waited until i couldnt wait no longer, simply because i love you ; and yet you probably still dont care; for all we have done for you not just me but our foster mother too, she has help’d you alot in life, she has help’d you through every single problem you have had and she is the one that made yo stronger and you trew it back in her face, yeah some times she goes on at us but thats what all parents do, we have our ups and our downs, we get through the good and the bad times, but in the end everything is fine !
ya knoo people do say dont take your freinds or family for granted because one day they will be gone and there’s nothing you can do about it; and you know i ts true, kirsty i remember telling you i hated you before you left, and i said it asif i truly meant it, and hopefully you know i was joking, because i never meant it, i never did all the times i have said, its just because i was angry, angry over something stupid, like you calling me a stupid name orr obing one of my tops. the good old days eh, when you first left all i could do was cry myself to sleep, i did that for about a week, but know its like a blank page. i cant remember anything. i try my hardest to gain all the good memories back, and to just re-live them all one last time. but i cant all i can see are the very few pictures on the walls, of what use to be’OUR’ bedroom.
its almost like a nightmare i cant get you out of my head. our lives were planned out for us, we was going too have a fabulous future, full of happiness and joy. you know everything was going to turn out ok. we would finally get the life we had dreamed of since we were tiny children. why cant you see kirsty, your home is here not there, your meant to be with uss !
You might think im too young to remember, but im not, i have flashbacks from my past and ever since you left they cant be excused. i wondered the night you left why you blew a kiss to me, i dont know if you remember but i sure doo, i told you i hated you and never wanted to see you again that night, but yet you showed me such love and happiness in your eyes.
i never thought it would end this way you had soo much thoughts and ambition in you. You wanted to go places you have never been to see things that you have never seen, you wanted to live a life full of luxury. You had soo much courage in youu, and hardly let me down, because you knew i loved you, and you loved me back.
tell me are you proud of yourself for doing what your doing ?
for making me hurt soo bad ?
for making me worry like no other ?
do you think its good what you are doing or ‘HARD’
because its not it really isnt, your frightening me doing what you are doing, and i really dont like the thought of you being were you are, doing what your doing, for only you would come home and show me you are ok and show me youu want us back, because we will welcome you in with one big smile, and tell you how much we love you back, for you will always be family to us, always.
everyday i sit and ask my self why i let you slip away from me, and you know there is a silent wisper and it tells me that even though we are far apart, your always in my heart, as your my big sister, and yeah right know you will be doing soo much silly things, but remember that i wont be there soon, i wont be there to help you because, you dont listen and even though i tell you that i love you and miss you, and i truly mean it you ignore it, and think of yourself, you put yourself first, you need to wake up out of this silly dream your having, and face realitty, and if only you knew what you have put us through over this past couple of weeks then you’d hate yourself for doing it, but look you dont realisee, you never will !